Unemployed and loving it

As many of you may know, I followed up my little fireworks-selling gig on July 4th with another venture into the workplace, beginning the very next day. It was a really, really, really, really boring job, but money is money, and I like money.

I don't want to go into too many details of the boringness that was my life (eight hours a day of it, anyway)... that would only make you exit this window instead of reading all the fascinating things I have to say. So I'll keep it short and sweet... basically it was just sitting at a desk looking for a bunch of businesspeople around the world, trying to call them or find their websites or something, so that I could collect all their contact info and add it to the Standard and Poor's database.

While 99% of it was horribly mindnumbingly devoid of interestingness, the other 1% was awesome. I got to research some really sketchy people, so it got exciting every now and then. Among the people I called, or at least attempted to, were:

- A marketing executive for RJ Reynolds, who was in trouble for marketing cigarettes to kids
- The vice president of the Playboy Group, enough said
- One of the owners of the Florida Panthers... he spent money on one of the worst teams in THE world's worst sport, there must be something wrong with him...
- The best friend of Tom Ridge, who led the Homeland Security department in Bush's first term... this friend of his had left his job to serve in Ridge's cabinet when he was governor of Pennsylvania
- Coincidentally, the best friend of Bernard Kerik, the guy Bush nominated to replace Ridge. This guy had reported mob connections, and was convicted in a forty million dollar fraud case. Awesome.
- The coolest one of all: a guy who left his job when he was accused of terrorism in a court of international law. He was the CEO of DynCorp, one of the leading sponsors of the U.S.'s defense spending (the big three were them, Enron, and Halliburton... yeah, that's elite company all right), until 2002. Apparently it's frowned upon to spray toxic herbicides over 14 percent of the landmass of Colombia. He failed in his effort to eliminate the nation's cocaine problem, and instead destroyed the land of tens of thousands of peasant farmers, and caused over a thousand illnesses in the nation's citizens. Ummm... whoops?

Anyway, virtually everything else about the month I spent working for S&P absolutely positively sucked. I was hoping to at least gain some valuable life experience or something, but I didn't really learn anything except that Texas has a town called Snook, the Clorox corporation has about nineteen different vice presidents, and, oh yeah, I hate working for the man (or woman, as it were).

So, in short, I'm unemployed and loving it. These three weeks are pretty much all I have left of my childhood, so, needless to say... I'm going to sleep through as much of them as I possibly can. And while I'm awake, I'll be spending every second enjoying what little time I have left with absolutely no responsibilities in life. Time is a wonderful thing to waste.

In other news, I'm starting to hear things from school besides "please visit our website to electronically sign this form verifying your financial aid award." (That's been written on about ten different letters I've gotten from Tufts this summer. I'm getting sick of it already.) As of yesterday, I finally have a dorm (Tilton 307), and a roommate (who is kinda tricky to get in touch with... he's in Japan). So if you're back home in Virginia and wanna get in touch with me sometime, here's everything you need to know...

Evans Clinchy
307 Tilton Hall
Tufts University
Medford, MA 02155

(617) 627-7215
evans.clinchy@tufts.edu

The address and phone number are good as of August 28th when I move in, and the email address will be up and running on the 30th. Yes, you read that right, I don't have my email address yet. Translation: the next person who says the word "facebook" in my presence is lucky I don't own any firearms, because if I did I'd most likely be using them on you. I know you have Facebook, you know I'm jealous, and you don't have to rub it in. Really. Seriously.

Anyway, I'm not really as angry as it seems, I'm just being dramatic because I like being like that.

Okay... it's 2:16 in the morning and I'm about to pass out, so I'll just leave you with this, because it's too hilarious not to.

gotpilk7: i resent your comment about the south
gotpilk7: you stupid northern elitist liberal
gotpilk7: go turn communist

Good night, world.