On AP exams, and the suckitude therein

All three AP exams I've taken this week have sucked. Majorly. Calculus, computer science, English... all three of them can go to hell. I despise them passionately.

But rather than accept responsibility for not being any good at those three subjects, I've prepared a chronicle of all the other people I feel like blaming. Ahem.

-Brook Taylor. He invented Taylor series, which I hate. That free-response question was painful. Thus, I blame Brook Taylor.

-Leonhard Euler. He was the one who invented polar coordinates, right? Yeah, I think so. I mean, if he wasn't, I still hate him, but since I think he was, I hate him even more. Did that make sense? Didn't think so.

-Thomas Minor. I was sitting next to him during compsci, and he's the Antichrist. His curse can make anyone within a five-foot radius forget how to write recursive methods that actually work... plus he kept making really annoying jokes.

-Tufts. Not a person, more like a big giant group of people, but whatever. They only want one compsci credit, and I think I may have actually gotten a 4 since I did well on everything but a couple of agonizing free-responses. So the one exam I did decently on (I think) is all for nought.

-CENSORED. Because she wrote CENSORED. Yeah... umm, I'm not really supposed to talk about the multiple choice questions, am I? Well anyway, she wrote a certain book in the 1850s, and the book has really horribly-written sentences that drag on for seventeen (no, that's not a typo, I said seventeen) lines.

-Mr. Deane. He's a good guy, but it makes me really mad that he shorted us three minutes on the English multiple choice. I really needed to make up for time lost to deciphering the crappy writing of CENSORED in the third passage. Losing three precious minutes did not help anything.

-Katharine Brush. She wrote that really dumb "story" in the New Yorker that somehow made its way onto the AP exam. It is impossible to write an essay about the literary devices used by an author who doesn't use literary devices. There were no metaphors, there was no imagery, and I suppose there were diction and tone, but everything has diction and tone, and this woman had really boring diction and tone.

-George Orwell. Why couldn't all three essays be about him? That would be awesome.

-The College Board. Again, it's more of a group of people than one actual person, but who cares. The English multiple choice questions were annoying... there was never only one correct answer... it was just a really bad test. I'm angry at it.

Right now the only things I can think of that don't suck about this week are the awesome food at Guadalajara, and the look on Ben's face when he looked at the last essay question and nearly jumped out of his seat mouthing the words "YES CATCH-22." Oh, plus a couple of hilarious AIM conversations with a couple of fellow exam-takers. Oh right, and the Red Sox winning three straight. And there might be poker tomorrow night. Okay, I admit it. My life doesn't actually suck. I'm just a drama queen.